Pam Parish, a woman who writes insightful words over at http://www.pamparish.com, asked for input on the “love is not enough” idea in a Facebook adoption group. I had quite a lot to say about the subject since I’d heard Nancy Thomas speak on “Love is Not Enough.” I had disagreed with Nancy to a point,…
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the orphan’s brain
The article, Orphans’ Lonely Beginnings Reveal How Parents Share a Child’s Brain is circling the web. Reading to the end of this article is so important, as the end gives the hope. Well, some. It scares me when articles like this are shared, not because it’s a horrible piece, but because I fear adoptive and foster…
Read Morethe intelligence behind a hurting child (adoption/foster)
I talk frequently about our children and their brains, how a hurting child’s brain is less developed than a child who’s had a typical upbringing (love and consistency). I talk about their inability to think logically, and that’s why consequences and reward systems don’t work. However, none of this means that a child who’s been…
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why consequences & rewards don’t work for hurting children (adoption/foster)
You can listen to a recording of this post, just scroll down to the bottom of this page and don some earbuds. 🙂 “My child doesn’t respond to consequences, I can take away anything and he doesn’t care.” “Rewards mean nothing to my daughter, I can offer an ice cream at McDonald’s or a new…
Read Moretaking the HAUNT out of Halloween (adoption/foster)
(In this post when I talk about our children who came from a scary place, I am including those who were neglected or abandoned. Although they weren’t abused or frightened by some larger person, their experience was extremely fearful for a child.) I’m not a fan of fear. In college you would have thought differently.…
Read Moretrauma focused equine therapy (adoption/foster)
I found this information in an email from The Child Trauma Academy on Spirit Reins Equine Therapy: “Participants learned that the brains of “prey” animals, such as horses, are organized much like that of a traumatized and hypervigilant children who are constantly scanning the environment for threat. The horse, for one, senses a child’s hypervigilance instinctively…
Read Morethe behavior battle (adoption/foster)
Behaviors come in all shapes and sizes. There is avoidance, vocal aggression, physical aggression, self-abuse, rude comments, bowel issues, sleep issues, food issues, and the list goes on, and on, and on. Many of you are in a battle with behaviors. Last year we had a Speech Pathologist and a Developmental Therapist coming to our…
Read Moreadoption = special needs
The first time I heard someone mention adopted children and special needs in the same sentence was during a meeting with ten professionals. The psychologist speaking was not referring to the adopted children who are classified as special needs because of a cleft palate or a heart condition, she was alluding to any child that…
Read Moremost recent article
My article, Connecting with Compassion is in the June issue of Adoption Today. The issue focuses on Neglect and Trauma. Click on the photo to view it. Bonus: This issue is being offered FREE!!! Additional bonus: My daughter’s on the front cover!
Read Morehow Paradoxical Parenting works
I will be writing an extremely important post on bonding next week and this information will be helpful in implementing the upcoming technique. But first, I would like to say that there is no quick fix for our hurting children. The information below is not an instant solution, but it will help you move forward…
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lovin' adoptin' & autism 