rocking: a simple first step to bonding, and it doesn’t just apply to infants (review – adoption/foster care)

(This post originally appeared on Lovin’ Adoptin’ in May 2013. I feel with all the new visitors I’d share again, plus a little reminder never hurt any of us, right?) Have you found that discipline and having consequences for negative behavior doesn’t work with your hurting child? As one mom phrased it, “They don’t care.”…

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tips on bonding with an adopted or foster child

When our daughter, Payton, came to us, she was young, but she was completely broken. Naive people have said to us, “It’s a good thing she was so young when she came to you, she won’t be affected by what happened.”   That’s the generally held consensus isn’t it? If a child is removed from…

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emotional age vs. chronological age (adoption/foster)

Evan lay in his room, screaming and pounding his fists on the floor, his feet slammed against his door. His mom, Talia, looked out the window, sure her neighbors could hear everything and imagined what they were thinking. She couldn’t believe he was behaving this way, he was eight-years-old and acting worse than a toddler,…

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the intelligence behind a hurting child (adoption/foster)

I talk frequently about our children and their brains, how a hurting child’s brain is less developed than a child who’s had a typical upbringing (love and consistency). I talk about their inability to think logically, and that’s why consequences and reward systems don’t work. However, none of this means that a child who’s been…

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