Experienced parents often want to share with foster and adoptive parents how to raise their children, they may tell you to put your child in time-out, spank them, and offer a plethora of other solutions. Problem being, a biological child thinks very differently than a child who’s worried about where their next meal will come…
Read MoreAll articles filed in bonding
your likes DON’T = their likes (adoption/foster)
Do you have expectations that your child will have similar likes as you, or they will be interested in the same hobbies? It’s natural for a parent to want their child to have these ideals, yet it doesn’t always work that way does it? expectations When parents have biological kids, they sometimes expect that their…
Read Moretime + time + time (adoption/foster)
This world is full of immediate gratification. We can ask Siri and she will answer, we don’t even have to look on the internet. And speaking of the internet, we can look up anything we want, buy anything we want, whenever we want. We have fast food and fast flavored coffee, immediate books on our…
Read MoreHARD is the BEST thing I’ve ever done
We shared our adoption story (in short) with our church on Orphan Sunday, Well, since this post is all about honesty, I should say, Justin shared and I stood by. I had the easy part. Afterwards, we welcomed questions from anyone interested in fostering or adopting. One of the women who chatted with me, let’s…
Read Morewhat’s on their mind? (adoption/foster)
Something about negative behavior struck me when I read the fourth part in the Reuter’s series The Child Exchange. (You can read my opinion on The Child Exchange – aka adoption disruption here.) The Reuters investigation shares the devastating story of Anna Barnes, a girl who was born in Russia, orphaned (although she didn’t know…
Read Morejust deal with it (feelings: part 4) – (adoption/foster)
Were you raised by a parent who told you to “just deal with it?” Were you taught to ignore your feelings or that they weren’t important? If we tell our hurting children to just deal with it without giving them a listening ear, and tools for how to handle their feelings, it won’t help your child…
Read Morethe behavior battle (adoption/foster)
Behaviors come in all shapes and sizes. There is avoidance, vocal aggression, physical aggression, self-abuse, rude comments, bowel issues, sleep issues, food issues, and the list goes on, and on, and on. Many of you are in a battle with behaviors. Last year we had a Speech Pathologist and a Developmental Therapist coming to our…
Read Morelet’s bond already – creating attachment with an adopted child
When our daughter, Payton, came to us, she was young, but she was completely broken. Naive people have said to us, “It’s a good thing she was so young when she came to you, she won’t be affected by what happened.” That’s the generally held consensus isn’t it? If a child is removed from a…
Read Morewhat creates a resilient adopted child?
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Children are resilient.” I’ve heard naive adults, who have no concept of what pain a child carries when they are neglected and abused say this, but worse than that is when I hear an adoptive parent place this expectation on a hurting child. The latter shocks me the most. If…
Read More
lovin' adoptin' & autism 