attachment in adoption & foster care: the first things we need to know

This is a post I originally wrote in April 2013. Many of you are new here, so I thought I would bring back some of the basics in the following weeks. Hope you enjoy. ************* In Chris Cleave’s novel Little Bee, he writes Little Bee’s thoughts, “Take it from me, a scar does not form on…

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is love enough? (adoption/foster)

Pam Parish, a woman who writes insightful words over at http://www.pamparish.com,  asked for input on the “love is not enough” idea in a Facebook adoption group. I had quite a lot to say about the subject since I’d heard Nancy Thomas speak on “Love is Not Enough.” I had disagreed with Nancy to a point,…

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hurting children CAN develop empathy (adoption/foster)

If your child was diagnosed with RAD, attachment disorder, PTSD, oppositional defiance disorder, or if there weren’t any diagnoses, but your child was neglected or abused, you may feel they won’t develop empathy. Heck, you may have even been told that your child will never show empathy. It’s not true. I know I brag about…

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does your child like their therapist? (adoption/foster)

  *These tips are for those who use therapy to help their children, I am not recommending that all parents take their children to a therapist. In We’re Our Child’s Best Therapist, I wrote about how, well, exactly that, we’re our child’s best therapist. Why? Because we know them best and we are with them…

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time + time + time (adoption/foster)

This world is full of immediate gratification. We can ask Siri and she will answer, we don’t even have to look on the internet. And speaking of the internet, we can look up anything we want, buy anything we want, whenever we want. We have fast food and fast flavored coffee, immediate books on our…

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why consequences & rewards don’t work for hurting children (adoption/foster)

You can listen to a recording of this post, just scroll down to the bottom of this page and don some earbuds. 🙂 “My child doesn’t respond to consequences, I can take away anything and he doesn’t care.” “Rewards mean nothing to my daughter, I can offer an ice cream at McDonald’s or a new…

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give negativity a noose (adoption/foster)

You can view the first post in this series: negativity is contagious You know who had a right to be negative, angry, opposing, and downright contrary? The Giving Tree. You know, the children’s book by Shel Silverstein? The Giving Tree is just that; giving. His owner, however, is selfish and takes everything he can from…

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negativity is contagious (adoption/foster)

Ebooks have this nifty technology that enables a reader to highlight a section of text. If enough people highlight a passage, it will be underlined in every issue of that ebook sold. In some books I’ve read, hundreds of people have highlighted a section. I see it going like this: Reader sees underlined sentence. Reader…

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my wish for you in 2014

I’m not a fan of New Years resolutions. Probably because I’ve never made a serious one, and all I’ve really witnessed of those who make them is that they don’t follow through. I’ve been in the gym in January, and then again in May, and many of the fitness fanatics who began the year with…

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the importance of consistency & routine (adoption/foster)

I looked up “quotes on consistency” for this post. What I found was in direct contradiction to what I was looking for. Oscar Wilde says, “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” Aldous Huxley said, “Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only complete consistent people are dead.” For the sake of…

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