In the days leading up to this trial, I felt suspended and separated from reality. My normal emotional state wasn’t what it normally was (probably a good thing for my poor husband). I didn’t even feel the nervousness that usually creeps in before these big hearings and trials. The excitement that this may be completed today wasn’t existent.
As I sat in the court room and heard the judge pronounce his decision to terminate the parental rights of Jeremiah’s biological parents, tears of joy streamed down my cheeks. A flood of happiness invaded my heart. I could finally say it was over. My own quirky emotional state had returned, and it felt so good.
Then reality stepped in front of me, in the form of Jeremiah’s social worker. She said how hard it was for T to do this. (And, no, I can’t imagine what it would be like.) Now tears of sorrow began to flow. What pain. I just wanted this to be a happy moment, but it wasn’t. Two people were losing their child.
T’s fear was that Jeremiah would grow up thinking that his bio dad didn’t care about him. We stepped outside the court room and reassured bio dad that we would always tell Jeremiah that he was loved very much and that T did his best. We gave him pictures of Jeremiah, and told him that we would continue to send him letters and pictures a few times a year.I am so touched that this man decided to do what’s best for his son. Now I pray that healing can begin for this man who has lost so much.
As for Tam (bio mom), she is still missing from her assisted living home. I pray that she can find peace in her life, and that she can attain comfort in knowing that he is with a family who will love him deeply and will do anything for him.