can you hear me now?

Normally I feel like people in the Dept. listen to my thoughts on what is happening with our Foster cases. Recently it hasn’t been that way. I feel like I am being given blank stares and that they’re coming back with excuses or reasons of why something may be a certain way.

For example, Jeremiah isn’t walking yet. He has taken a few steps here and there, but hasn’t taken off. I feel that he would be walking if he had more time in between visits. Now that Tam (bio mom) is back visiting him, he doesn’t have a week to recoup so he can make strides developmentally. When T (bio dad) has missed visits, Jeremiah has made leaps and bounds in the area of development.

I know Jeremiah as if he were my son. I’ve had him with me twelve months out of his fifteen months on earth. Every moment of my existence I think of him as my son. I know nothing different. So, being “his mother,” wouldn’t I know him and what he is capable of?

This isn’t the only situation where this has come up. One day I arrived one hour early for his visit with T (bio dad), we played in the car and were having a good time. We had been sitting in the car for one hour when T walked by Jeremiah’s window. Jeremiah started crying immediately. I was livid.

Some could definitely say that he wanted to see his bio dad, and cried because he was walking away. However, those who have witnessed visits for the past twelve months know that Jeremiah has no connection with his bio dad. It’s even worse than how he reacts to a complete stranger. No eye contact, and stays away from him.

I was blown off on this account too. I am so frustrated. I feel like the Workers used to give ear to what I said, but now I feel like it goes in one ear and out the other.