Risa’s daughter, Ashley, screamed every time she said, “Sit down.” It didn’t matter if it was dinner time, snack time, bed time, or movie time, Ashley broke down. The question could be asked, is this simply defiance? If it’s in several areas, it could be, but if a child’s experienced trauma, their behavior won’t fall…
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emotional age vs. chronological age (adoption/foster)
Evan lay in his room, screaming and pounding his fists on the floor, his feet slammed against his door. His mom, Talia, looked out the window, sure her neighbors could hear everything and imagined what they were thinking. She couldn’t believe he was behaving this way, he was eight-years-old and acting worse than a toddler,…
Read Moreour semi-open adoption
There are all kinds of open adoptions. I know several families who’ve adopted and none of them have the same relationship with the birth families. Last week in the post, Birth Family Relationships, I talked about how different contact can look for each family. Connections with birth family can be done through the exchange of…
Read Moresharing Lovin’ Adoptin’ helps families thrive
Last week I received a comment on my blog saying, “I was suggested this website by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else knows such details about my trouble…” I replied that I’m not her cousin, but I hope that what I’ve written helps her. I share…
Read Morebirth family relationships (adoption/foster)
My cousin, Dawn*, and I were teenagers when we sat on her living room floor flipping through a photo album. On the first page my Aunt Deidre* was pictured with a big smile, holding a precious baby with an adorable beauty mark on her forehead. That day, Dawn shared with me that her mom had…
Read Morewhy Grandma & Grandpa’s parenting techniques don’t work with adopted/foster kids
In March, Rebecca Vahle of the Adoption Perspectives radio show interviewed me. In the interview below, we discuss why “normal” parenting techniques don’t work with adopted and foster children. We went over things such as: why it’s okay to give a child attention when they’re acting out why people want us to parent differently, and…
Read Moreis love enough? (adoption/foster)
Pam Parish, a woman who writes insightful words over at http://www.pamparish.com, asked for input on the “love is not enough” idea in a Facebook adoption group. I had quite a lot to say about the subject since I’d heard Nancy Thomas speak on “Love is Not Enough.” I had disagreed with Nancy to a point,…
Read Morekeep it simple: simple language = understanding (adoption/foster)
Do you have a young child who doesn’t obey when you ask her to do something? Does your child smile at your from the top of the table when you’ve asked him to get down? Do you have a newly (within the last year) foster or adopted child who is older but doesn’t do what…
Read Moreradio interview – Adoption Perspectives
Hello all! Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve popped my head in. Reason being (okay there are lots of reasons, but aren’t there always?) I’ve been SICK! Really down in the dumps, hit by a mega-ton bulldozer, sick. Plus the kiddos had one more week of spring break than I thought, meaning they had…
Read More6 things you shouldn’t say to, or in front of, your foster/adopted child
You can listen to a recording of this post, just scroll to the bottom of this post. Sometimes it’s common sense and sometimes it’s not. Despite that common sense we’ve all supposedly been given, I’ve heard some terrible things said in front of, and to, children. Guidance has also been disposed by some professionals that…
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lovin' adoptin' & autism 