5 things Autism parents are tired of hearing

5 things Autism parents are tired of hearing
Autism parents get advice from every which way; parents, friends, family, strangers, and store clerks. While much of it is well-intentioned, it can become redundant and those spouting the “ideas on how to get your child to behave better” don’t have a clue. To preface this list, I would like to say that every person with Autism is unique, each Autism trait won’t apply to everyone. So, here’s to all you Autism parents who face criticism, we’re right there with you.

  1. Why doesn’t your child behave in public?
    Because he’s human and he’s a child.

    Like every point in this post, the person asking this hasn’t experienced Autism. Would you behave if you’d been dropped into a department store full of ear wrenching noise, obtrusively bright lights, and utterly rude people who stare at you? Sensory Processing issues people.

    Not only that, but routine, normalcy is what people on the Spectrum desire, it’s where they thrive, it’s their lifeboat. Department stores, amusement parks, schools, farmers markets, and even libraries throw that all out the window.

  2. Don’t worry, my child didn’t talk until he was three.

    That’s nice. I don’t feel like waiting until my child is three to find out why he isn’t talking; why he doesn’t make eye contact, interact with other children, or play with toys, or talk. It’s not necessarily common for children to not speak until they’re three, so I will consider the typical developmental milestones when considering what might be different in our child.

  3. Why don’t you discipline your child, put her in time-out, or spank her?

    Despite the controversy around spanking, let’s consider the Autistic child.

    If a child has heightened sensory preceptors, spanking isn’t going to get the desired result. They love hitting, banging, pulling their hair, slamming their head with their fist, jumping intensely, this feels good to them, so no, spanking won’t work. They’d say, “Bring it on!” and it’s just not right.

    As for time-out, consider the child who doesn’t sit for any amount of time. Torture.  Many Autistic children are quite busy, always focused on something. Placing them in time-out with nothing to do will drive them up the wall. You won’t get your desired result.

    Also consider the psychological development of the child. What do they understand? My son, Jeremiah, is just now beginning to understand situations that aren’t part of his every day life, so placing him in time-out will upset him beyond belief. (Yeah, we actually tried time-in twice for a couple minutes before his comprehension increased. Bad idea.) Time-out? Didn’t even attempt it, unless I sat on him, he wouldn’t have stayed where I placed him anyway.

  4. Why can’t your child sit still in church, class, on a gondola ride, anywhere that requires someone to be seating without a five-point harness?

    So glad you mentioned the five point harness. This is why I love going on short road trips! Great idea, I should do this every day.

    Sensory needs, nerves, anxiety, the need for activity. Hmm, with all three of these, plus more in play, how do you think we should get him to sit still in a room full of people? Sure, it can be done, Jeremiah is now sitting fairly well during Circle Time in his preschool class, but this is his THIRD YEAR, and the teachers have worked diligently to get to this point. He still sits in his special red chair, not on the floor with the other kids…some day.

    We could work with Jeremiah to sit in church, I mean a few weeks ago we just about had a celebration (okay, we did) because he was sitting in a chair amongst the rest of the kids, waiting for snack in his Sunday School class. No, I’m not kidding. So, we could work into having him sit in church, it would be in very minute increments, like seconds at first and as we walked through those double doors, he would scream and cry, and fall on the floor. Yep, huge scene. All eyes on us, lots of questions, and unless I want Jeremiah to wear a sign that says, “Autism in Training,” I don’t feel like carrying the criticism, or judging those who are judging me.

    I mean for goodness sake, we’ve (mostly my awesome husband Justin) taken him into stores on a regular basis since he was an infant. Still, some days while he sits in the front of the cart, he is banging his head on us or chewing his shirt like it’s beef jerky. So, sitting still somewhere? I don’t think so.
    Autism - make your child eat more

  5. You should feed your child healthier foods. You should have your child eat a wider variety of foods, what about their health?
    Do you think I don’t care about my child’s health? Do you think I feed him gold-fish crackers because they have an awesome nutritional value? Do you think I’m going to ignore all advice on how to have a healthy child and throw my hands in the air? No, I’m going to try every way I can to get my child to eat something. One day though, you’re going to realize I can’t MAKE him eat anything, and you can’t either. We try, we wait, and we try again. If it’s egg whites and gold-fish that make up a majority of his diet, we’ll resort to lots of prayer. Lots. Because it will be a miracle if Jeremiah comes out of childhood with a healthy dose of nutrition.

    And side note, we had extensive blood work done on him a few months ago and guess what? He was in the green on everything except vitamin D3, and don’t ya know, those come in little gummies he loves.

To all of those who offer these comments and questions, I would like to tell them, “You do it.” Then I think logically, and realize that people with these mindsets will probably harm my child if given any amount of time alone with him.

Autism requires different parenting. And so we do different.

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what if my Autistic child never says, “I love you”?

what if my autistic child never says I love you_2*Please be sure to read to the end if you’re offended by the words “grieving process.”

When a child is diagnosed with Autism, often times there’s a grieving process for the parents. Their original expectations are drastically altered, sometimes in one moment, sometimes over the course of months or years. Grieving is important, if we don’t acknowledge how we feel about something deep at the core, we will never truly deal with it, and it may spring up at another inopportune time.

I’ve heard many Autism parents grieve the fact that they may never hear their child say, “I love you.” Like I said, grieving is okay, I understand it, I felt the same way, I said those words. I was saddened that I wouldn’t hear my son, Jeremiah, tell me those words every mom wants to hear. But then it changed.

My attitude changed because I’m privileged to have learned (and will forever be learning) from Autistic adults as well as other Autism parents who see the positives in Autism. I hadn’t been focused enough on those positives, I was seeing too much negative. My grieving was going too long,

I was in the “poor me” mentality.

While there’s a time and place for those feelings for some of us, it’s just that, a time and place for them. There are many moments when I’m frustrated, when I wish Jeremiah could tell me what he wants so he isn’t hitting me, banging his head against me, or trying to scratch me out of anger. I wish there wasn’t regression, I wish that if I stopped teaching and directing for one day that Jeremiah would still follow the “rules” of the house. I grieve for myself, that I don’t have down-time when I desperately want it. I grieve because no one seems to completely understand the life we live.

But life with Autism is so much richer when I see the wonderful, and there is an abundance of wonderful.

I can acknowledge those frustrations and grieve, then I need to move on and recognize what’s beautiful in him.

At some point in my journey through Autism, I heard an Autism mom say, “My child says ‘I love you,’ it’s just in his own way.” She was right! This was a profound moment for me. A moment I was looking for, yearning for, was already in front of me. Jeremiah was already telling me he loves me, I just wasn’t listening. This was my problem, not his. Can I tell you the joy I felt? The angst that was lifted from my heart?

This has happened on more than one occasion, this heavy feeling of “He will never” being lifted from me and being turned into something beautiful and special.

Yes, there are obstacles that come with having a child with special needs, but there are also so many exceptional moments, and life lessons we learn that no one else gets to. When Jeremiah (age five) does something he’s never done before, something that an infant or toddler might do, it’s euphoria. I experience moments no typical parent witnesses. When Jeremiah laughs at something someone said, it’s pure joy. When he communicates by leading me by the hand or using my hand to point to something he wants, I’m elated.

See, Jeremiah does communicate, it happens to be in a different way than a typical child. He tells me he loves me every day when he “asks” me to do something for him, when he smiles at me, when he laughs at the silly nickname I’ve given him, or when he sits in my lap. In all of these moments and so much more, he’s telling me he loves me.
I love you can be spoken in every language

Not all of you have a child who will hug you, or look you in the eyes and smile, or respond with a grin when you say his nickname, but I hope you can find the ways your child tells you he loves you.

An Autistic adult made a list of things typical people should just assume about the Autistic individual. I’ve tried in vain to go back and find who wrote it, but can’t, however, I do know it was written on an Autism Facebook page that supports positive thinking in regards to the disABILITY. On the list, she wrote that we should assume that the person who has Autism loves us if we love them and show them we care and love them.

How does your child say “I love you”?

Please feel free to share this article if you know someone who would benefit.

*A note about my terminology. Autistic vs. Has Autism – In the adult Autistic community I’ve heard it said countless times that they prefer to be called Autistic. The parents of Autistic children say “use person first language.” I respect the Autistic adults opinion, as they are the ones living with what my son has. I also understand where the Autism parents are coming from, I felt the same way. I used to only us the phrase, “My son has Autism,” but I know use both references interchangeably. I don’t feel there’s a right way or wrong way.

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can a hurting child make choices? (adoption & foster care)

can a hurting child make choices
Decisions, decisions, decisions. When a child comes from a traumatic past, they consistently need decisions made for them. Even months and years after their adoption or placement in foster care, a hurting child will need others to help guide them more than a typical child would. But sometimes too much control is taken away from them, and they feel like they can’t make any decisions in their life.

The child who has attachment issues isn’t capable of making difficult choices, yet, they need to be given the chance to make choices occasionally so they don’t feel so out of control. Plus, when a child makes choices, they naturally learn about consequences, either positive or negative.

If you have a child who has recently joined your family, it’s good to give them choices in small increments, and as they do, you will be able to identify when they’re ready to have more responsibility.

I came across this great video on the Autism Site. Below, Rob from Autism Spectrum Therapies, talks about ways in which you can give a child more choices. The video is less than four minutes long, and gives some excellent tips on allowing your child to make decisions in their everyday life. Although Rob is talking about Autism, it relates just as much to your adopted or foster child.

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are nurses and doctors familiar with Autism?

Are nurses and doctors familiar with autismAre nurses, doctors, radiologists, and other hospital staff familiar with Autism? I wish the answer was, yes, but sometimes they don’t know enough to make a visit to the hospital or ER a pleasurable experience for our children who have Autism.

Wait a minute. Did I say “pleasurable”? Whose visit to the hospital is a good one? Most aren’t, and when our Autistic child is facing some time in the antiseptic palace, it’s downright scary. We’ve been there. We haven’t been anointed with as many trips as many other families who have kids with Autism, but we’ve been there enough to realize that not every nurse, doctor, anesthesiologist, etc. know how to handle and care for an Autistic person.

I wish they did, but living with the Autistic child every day is far different than seeing one every few days. Seeing an Autistic persons interactions on a day to day basis teaches us far more than hours spent inside four walls in some seminar where another highly accomplished physician teaches on the medical care of an Autistic child.

Dr. Bruce Perry says, “Many physicians find “psychological” or social aspects of medical problems less interesting and less important than the primary “physiological” issues.” Caring for the psychological aspects of the Autistic person is paramount, there isn’t much you can accomplish if you don’t meet the needs of their psychological self.

A great example of this was when we showed up at an after-hours urgency care center after Jeremiah had a seizure. I went inside to check in while Justin waited with Jeremiah in the car. I told the receptionist that Jeremiah has severe Autism and couldn’t come in until they were ready for him. She took me very seriously (not the norm) and set everything up so it was a smooth transition when we brought Jeremiah in.

The receptionist offered that he come in through an alternative entrance in case he was afraid of sliding doors, the doctor was supposed to come in right after we entered the room, but Jeremiah’s primary care physician called him at that moment to discuss what happened to Jeremiah (I’d already spoken with her on the phone – yes, we have an excellent doctor). We made plans beforehand to meet Jeremiah’s psychological needs, we brought in the magic DVD player.

Surprisingly, the whole visit went really well. Why? It began with those exceptions the receptionist put in place which put us, the parents, more at ease, and led to less stress. It continued with staff that recognized what they were facing, they referred to us in each step they took, whether it was getting his weight, taking his temperature, or looking in his eyes and ears.
care for the psychological element of the autistic person

We’ve had some less than acceptable experiences in the hospital, not every situation goes as well as the one above. When receptionists, nurses, and doctors don’t work with Autistic individuals on a regular basis, their understanding of Autism isn’t going to be as satisfactory.

After one of our trips to the hospital, I was sent a survey. I filled it out and wrote an additional letter. The letter was written in a kind manner, but pointed out that we felt there wasn’t enough awareness of Autism. I later received a call from the group who receives the surveys, and she was recommending I speak to the director of pediatrics at our local hospital. I then got a call from the director, she asked me to come and speak at their staff meeting.

I spoke to the pediatric staff last week, and they were grateful for the information I shared. None of the doctors and nurses who’d seen Jeremiah were in attendance, which was disappointing, but this is a start. The director even asked to share my information with the rest of the hospital.

“This is excellent information. I would like for the whole hospital to know about this.”
- Geri Tamborelli, MS, RN Director of Women’s Health & Childbirth Services

The average person doesn’t think they can make a difference. They think they’re stuck with what they’ve got. They think doctors are more educated, and they can’t help in any way. If only they lived in a bigger, better city. If only they lived in an area where the doctors understood Autism. If only…

But the thing is, you can make a difference. If you approach others in a kind way, there’s a good chance they’ll be receptive to what you have to say.

When I shared with someone that I was going to speak to the hospital staff about Autism, they said, “Why? They know about Autism.” We often think that the medical community knows everything medical, and they do, but before you can assist an Autistic person in a medical sense you’ll need to pay attention to that key piece, the psychological. If they do that, they’ll get much farther, and the Autistic patient and their parent will be more at ease.

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what a relationship from a movie can teach us about adoption and foster care

what a relationship from a movie can teach us about adoption and fostercare
In the movie, Blood Diamond, I witnessed a relationship that I thought resembled what should take place in adoptive and foster families.

The movie, Blood Diamond, is based in Africa, during the Civil War in Sierra Leone. During the war, Solomon’s young son, Dia, is captured by the rebel army. He’s forced to perform terrible acts (including killing), and is given drugs.

When Dia is rescued by his father, he doesn’t even recognize him, or doesn’t want to. His terrible deeds overwhelm him, he feels worthless and horrible about himself. The rebel army has taught him to forget about his family and serve the “cause.”

Shortly after Solomon rescues him, Dia points a gun at his fathers head. Dia seems serious about what he’s about to do, but Solomon knows his son and reaches out with forgiveness, mercy, and love. Solomon slowly moves toward his son, telling Dia that he’s a good boy, not bad, he loves him, and his mother loves him and misses him.

Our children are hurting, they come from a place of pain, and just because they leave that place and we offer them love and a wonderful life, it doesn’t mean that they’ll forget that internal pain.

Traumatized children will reach out with anger, hate, harsh words, manipulation, and disobedience. In turn, their internal turmoil can hurt us, the parents who are trying everything in our power to help them succeed. But, we need to look at how Solomon reacted to his son in Blood Diamond. No matter what his child did, (and he participated in some horrific acts) he loved him and accepted him fully.

I write about having compassion for our children, about understanding where they’ve come from, and this is a perfect picture of love that reaches beyond the choices a child makes. Our children need to know that we will carry their pain, we will love them unconditionally, we will fight for them and want them in our lives every moment – even the ugly ones.
hurting children need to know that we will love them unconditionally

Even I can’t be reminded of this enough. It’s a simple concept, but so difficult to carry out. Yes, consistency and routine are important, a child needs to know there are consequences in life, but above those comes love and acceptance.

Reminds me of something familiar: “…For if I do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol.” 1 Corinthians 13:1. It’s true for our children, if we don’t have an all accepting, inclusive love for them, they are aware of it. In the end, love will help heal their hearts, knowing that no matter what they do or how they act, they are treasured will make all the difference in the world.

*The intent of this post is not to recommend the movie, Blood Diamond. It’s not appropriate for younger audiences as it contains graphic scenes, however, it is based on true events which took place in Africa during the Sierra Leone Civil War.

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where the abuse of Autistic people begins

abuse of special needs
You may have seen it in the news, a teen was talked into the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, but, instead of ice, peers doused him with urine, feces, cigarette butts, and spit. This enrages me. Part of me can’t believe people would behave this way, but then I have not lived the secluded, naive life, and I know what humans are capable of. Still, it’s maddening and inexcusable.

You can see the video here. ABC News Channel 5 says about the video, “The above video is graphic and disturbing. The boy’s parents say he is ashamed and scared by what happened but are sharing to raise awareness about the cruelty of bullying and the need for tolerance and kindness.”

There may be arguments as to whether it’s appropriate to share the video so publicly, especially since the teen is ashamed of what took place. I’m giving you a link to the video if you have older children and want to share with them how others will treat people with disabilities. Children and teens need to know how to stand up for those with special needs, they need to understand what’s not okay.

If the offending teen’s parents were talking about special needs in their homes, this wouldn’t have happened. If they’d had conversations about people who are different than them, this terrorizing wouldn’t have taken place.

If they went to a school that included special needs children in the regular classroom, there’s a good chance this teen wouldn’t have been abused. If that inclusive school educated students regularly on special needs, these offenders wouldn’t have committed a hate crime.

Special needs and Autism need to be talked about in every home, not just certain homes, in certain families, in certain areas of the country. Not just when there’s someone with special needs next door, or a clerk at your local grocery store. Education needs to be everywhere because you never know when your children are going to meet up with someone who has special needs.

Don’t keep your children away from people with special needs because you’re afraid of what your child will say, there are excellent teaching moments everywhere. If someone is in a wheelchair, you might be afraid that your child will ask, “What are you in that rolling thing for?” You can then kindly explain to your child that it’s called a wheelchair, and the person in said mobile unit may share information. If not, when you walk out of hearing distance you can share why they might not be able to walk.

Deborah at www.care.com wrote a fantastic article called, Teaching Your Child about Peers with Special Needs, it’s an excellent resource I highly recommend.

I feel the teens who abused the Autistic boy didn’t understand he has feelings, likes, dislikes, and opinions just like they do. Those teens didn’t see who this teen is and appreciate him for who he is, they only saw his differences. They viciously attacked his differences and made a mockery of him. Understanding, empathy, compassion, and acceptance can happen through continuous discussions about special needs and the differences in others.

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how to help your adopted/foster child sleep (sleep issues part 2)

Sleep issues are a hot topic in the adoption and foster care community. Last week I highlighted why hurting children have problems sleeping in my post, Why Adopted and Foster Children Have Sleep Issues, and as I promised, I’m back this week to give you ideas on how to help your kids sleep. If you haven’t yet, I encourage you to read the post I wrote last week on sleep. Reason being, if we familiarize ourselves with what’s at the heart of our children’s sleep disturbances we can better help them in a compassionate way.

Now let’s get some rest! How, you ask. First, let’s look at some simple steps to take. You may have already tried these, and if you have, don’t worry, a more in depth plan will follow in this post.

  • Routine – Consistency and schedules are especially important for children who’ve been adopted. Even if your child came from a foster home in Korea that had the sweetest foster mom, your child’s gone through a lot of change, and routine is essential.
    Have a calming routine before bed that does not include screen time, rambunctious activity, bright lights, or sugary snacks. (Preferably only veggies if they’re hungry. Because of food issues and adopted kids, we never denied our daughter food. But, she’s a good eater, so she will eat baby carrots before bed if she’s hungry. You can choose the most nutritious food your child will eat.)
  • Rocking – You can read all about rocking (I’m not just talking about infants) and it’s proven benefits here. Rocking can be done with any child that can sit in your lap. I suggest every parent rock their adopted child (for teens, you can incorporate other rhythmic movement during the day, ideas can be found in the previous link), and rocking before bed will help calm your child.
  • Quiet – Be sure that your child’s room is quiet. If their mind is working overtime, any noise will keep them alert and make their mind wander. Any noise coming from outside their room will make them obsess about what’s being said or done. Some children are worried about what’s happening on the other side of the door, and some wonder what they’re missing out on. They want to join the party! In fact, they want to be in the center of it. :)
  • Calming music – Just try it. Don’t listen to any other parenting advice about how they’ll get used to it, and won’t be able to sleep without it. If they can’t, so what. They’re sleeping! Our daughter still uses her lullaby (no words) music at night. It does that extra little bit to keep other noises from seeping into her brain, and lulls her to sleep.
  • Night light – Most parents think of this one, but just want to cover all the bases. If your child has fears, which all adopted kids will have some. I mean if you’re human, you have fears, and a night light can help relieve some fear of the dark. Make sure the light isn’t too bright, and if your child’s taking a nap, be sure that the room is dark enough during the day.

*I was reminded earlier today the importance of considering the child’s background. One foster mom said she let her foster son pick out his own sleeping bag. He’d never slept in a bed so they started with a sleeping bag, where he was comfortable, added a pillow, and then the mattress on the floor, then onto the bed. Always have the nice bed available, but don’t force what they child is anxious about.

The above solutions seem fairly simple, but if, in the past you’ve had children who fell asleep easily it may not occur to you to try these different resolutions. My daughter’s Grandma is a perfect example of this. She’s been running an in-home daycare for forty years, and in that time she hasn’t taken care of one adopted child. I have to assume that every child who’s ever entered her home takes naps without a fuss.

Then my daughter entered the dynamic. She needed to take the occasional nap at Grandma’s during daycare hours. It didn’t work. Why? Because Grandma didn’t set the room up for Payton to have a restful nap. First, Payton’s amped up because she’s at Grandma’s and loves to be around the other kids. Second, noise, noise, noise, and for her, this doesn’t work, her brain cannot shut down without a quiet place to rest. Third, light. Forth, it was a warm house. I wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep, and I’m usually running on some barely there exhaust fumes. The sleep situation wasn’t conducive to sleep, so we must make sure that is taken care of first.

Now we’ll move to the more complex, but often necessary plan to help your child fall and stay asleep.

The following ideas are going to take time, but they’re proven to work. You may come up with reasons why you can’t carry out this plan, but I encourage you to try everything possible to follow through.

Getting your child to sleep has many benefits, all of which I am sure you are aware. A tired parent can become easily irritated, impatient, and forgetful. A tired child can become irritable, angry, excessively hungry, have a short attention span, and an inability to focus (the list goes on). This will cause problems at home and school. I’m not saying sleep is going to solve all your child’s behavior problems, because it won’t, but wouldn’t it be nice if it took care of some of them?

It’s best if the following plan be accomplished with both parents. If your child is attached to one parent and will not let the other parent put them to bed, have that parent help in another area of the house; putting another child to bed, washing dishes, picking up the house. Try to get on the same page and work together. (Have your spouse read my first post on sleep issues so they understand why this needs to be done, and read this one as well.)

The plan below is what helped our daughter truly fall asleep and stay asleep. It was also a big part of our bonding experience because it shows the child in a physical way that we’re there for them.

We can tell our child all we want that we won’t leave them, and they are safe, but they can SEE and trust the physical more readily.

I encourage you to begin with the steps listed above before moving onto these. Make sure all your child’s needs are met before going to bed, make it part of your routine if needed. Have them get the drink of water, go potty, blow their nose, put on chapstick, get the bear, get the blanket. Whatever it is that your child asks you for after bed, make sure it’s done before they go to their room for the night.

Each of these steps we did for an average of two weeks (some were longer). There is no set pattern, as each child is different. Just make sure you do it long enough so as not to set the whole process back.

  • After you have finished the above routine and put your child in bed, sit next to your child’s bed and hold his hand while he falls asleep. If your child won’t hold your hand, lay your hand on his back. Be sure your child is asleep (deep rhythmic breathing) before you leave their side.
    If your child wakes during the night, go to him and do the same thing. If there’s a storm, make considerations to let him sleep in your room (check regulations for foster children – maybe you can camp out on the floor, or all camp in the living room if there’s more than one child).
  • After you’ve held your child’s hand for as long as needed (a couple of weeks or more), move away from his bed. Make yourself comfortable, lay down with a pillow and take a nap.
  • Now you will move to the doorway and sit just inside his room until he falls asleep.
  • Next move outside his door, but leave the door open. If he says anything, reassure him you’re there.
    You may be sitting outside your child’s door longer than you were in their room because you are now out of sight. Over time your child will begin to trust that you’re going to be there, as along as you really are (and they will know).
  • If you close your child’s door at night, it will take an extra step. If you’ve never closed your child’s door at night, there’s no need to now (unless of course it’s too noisy). If you do begin closing the door, expect some anxiety, because this will be a big change for your child. If needed, close your child’s door and sit outside his room. If he calls for you, if at all possible, stay outside the door and reassure him that you’re there.

*The above plan was recommended by Scott Chaussee of Ariel Clinical Services.

Always consider what is happening in your child’s world to cause sleep disturbances.

Think about what happened that day, what’s going to happen in the next week or month. Anxiety can cause exacerbated behaviors in hurting children and the inability to fall asleep is a big one. As your child bonds, they’ll become less anxious, but it’s still something to always be mindful of.

About three years after we implemented this whole routine with our daughter, Payton, it was clearly embedded in her mind. For years, when she put her babies and animals to sleep, she placed a chair outside her door and read a book. That’s exactly what we did with her. Thankfully she didn’t yell and scream from her chair, telling her babies to be quiet. At least we did one thing right.

When we’d had success with this plan, we noticed that many families who had adopted their children around the same time as us had kids who still weren’t sleeping. These families weren’t willing to look at what was causing the sleep issues and neither were they willing to put the time and effort into dealing with it.

This is a short investment for a long term gain.

It will probably take a few months, and some lost time with your spouse, but in the end, you will be so glad you did it, I know we are. In the end, using this technique will help everyone in the family.

*Another post that might be of interest: what happens when hurting children can’t sleep?

  • I would like to talk about sleep aids. I feel there is a time and place for natural remedies, even medication. In fact, we tried a natural remedy (for sleep) with our daughter and it didn’t work. However, I believe there is an underlying cause for most of our children’s sleep issues, and if we don’t get to the bottom of it (or bond – even at night by showing them they’re safe) the lack of sleep will continue and won’t be dealt with at the level it needs to be.

good night

I hope these ideas help your family. May you all begin to rest!

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